i decorated a shirt for it. on the back it said, "to write love on her arms" and "the butterly project," with a descriptive definition of self-harm underneath it. on the front, it said, "self harm awareness day," followed by lines & scissors. at the very bottom there was a big orange ribbon. i also wore a sign that on the front said, "i am victim to self-harm," and on the back, a long message about it. i was called "stupid," "freak," and "faggot." i'm still proud.

and you don't even care
when i go to sleep at night
you're not even there //
a trophy father's trophy son//sleeping with sirens
 
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i just finished a poem for english
and even though it's a format based off maya angelou's "life doesn't frighten me"
that we had to fill in
i'm pretty damn proud of it.
 
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trapped inside my own mind
staring at the scars and lines
i don't frighten myself at all
going crazy with my thoughts all hazy
i don't frighten myself at all
screaming and crying
leaving and lying
although it doesn't frighten me at all
i think i might be dying
but i'm still here, fighting
i don't frighten myself at all
i distract you
you distract me
and so, you see,
this doesn't frighten me at all
they won't quit it
but i won't do it
i'll just get through it
i don't frighten myself at all
not at all
not at all
i don't frighten myself at all
 
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okay, i'm not that good a poet.

because everything new distracts the old.
besitos // pierce the veil
 
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So, this is pretty ugly... My brother can't say "ma'am." He gets frustrated because it doesn't come natural to him. He ends up saying "mahama." It's funny even though I hate him. I kind of talk to him now. But there are times when I remember everything and I just go into a huge depression and ignore him from a few months. Whatever. Like it really matters. Doo doo doo doo do do do dooooo. I have youth group in an hour or so. I'm looking forward to it. Except, the entire class besides like four people hates me. They talk a lot of shit about me. Then again, when am I /not/ being talked shit about. Better yet, who /doesn't/ talk shit about me.
 
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skinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinnyskinny.

saw you from my humma'
you could have my numba'
brown eyed girl // royalty the king
 
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Dear You-Know-Who,
I think we should keep you a secret.
This will be fun.
And then reveal who you are like
 
some other time. I dunno.
I love you ♥
Sincerely,
Jay
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Hi. I haven't made a set in a while. This is my lame excuse for one. My dog is really small. She fits in perfectly with the family. We're all midgets. Not really. Just figuratively.
 
So, my father walked out on me when I was three. My mother had a court-date with him last month over child support issues, right. He never showed. It wasn't until yesterday that I noticed he attempted to add my sister and I on Facebook.
 
l0l fagg0t, whurrs my ten years woth of child support?
oh, houw about all those birfday presents~
or christmas presents.
or thirteen years worth of love?
how about that one? ^
yeah, add me after you're man enough to talk to us in person. you know damn well where we live.

Hi, Jocelyn.
I made a set on your account & I know you don't mind. I get this letter will be something worth reading, I hope! Your probably going to be a tad' bit upset, but I hear you like One Direction? Oh goodness.. I'm not a fan. Haha, the lyrics of so cheesy! Well, I miss hanging out with you like 7th grade. Let's hangout once before we part for high school? I love you so much & you know that♥
Love, you know who.. I hope.

i am way too lazy these days. wooh, this is bad.
i promise i'll try and get more sets in soon.
um, besides that, i'm thinking of making a twitter.
i dunno. i'm thinking about a lot of things.
i think i'll make a set right now.
i think i'll... i don't know.

reggaton latino//don omar.
 
--
 
i'm so proud of myself.~
there was the winter formal tonight from seven to nine pm.
yesterday, i bought my ticket. with the money my mother gave me. i got home from school,
and she told me i couldn't go. because she just decided she wouldn't let me.
so tonight, at six pm, instead of getting ready for the dance like all of my friends were at each others' houses --
i worked out.
first time in a few months, and i'm happy.
my starting weight: 110 lbs.
i've been working out from six pm to ten pm nonstop.
i'm taking a break.
i want to be skinny.
i'm thin. yes. but i'm not skinny.
skinny is @l-o-v-e.
skinny is thigh gaps & hip bones.
thin is me.
i want skinny. c:
anyway. back to my break.
 
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